Does Santa ever shave his beard?

Thursday, November 30, 2017

Santa riding the fire truck in Richmond Beach
Photo by Wayne Pridemore

By Rob Oxford

There is nothing quite as enjoyable as watching a child's eyes sparkle when they see Santa Claus.

Whether he's coming down the parade route atop his sleigh, at the mall visiting with good little boys and girls or riding on the back of a Shoreline Fire truck on Christmas Day, thankfully, I don't recall ever having to answer the question, "Is that the REAL Santa Claus?"

However, I do recall being asked a few doozies over the years:

"Why don't Santa and Mrs. Claus have kids?"
"What did Santa do before he was a toymaker?"
"Does Santa ever get tired of the same old Christmas carols like you do, Mom?"
"How much does Santa Claus get paid?"
"What kinds of names did the other reindeer call Rudolph?"
"Does Santa have High Blood Pressure?"
"Are there any restaurants at the North Pole?"
"Who are Santa Claus' Mom and Dad?"
"Did you know that you and Santa Claus have similar handwriting?"
"Does Santa Claus have a hot tub?"
"Where did Santa meet Mrs. Santa?"
"When is Santa's Birthday?"
"Does Santa have a middle name?"
"What happens if Santa gets sick Christmas Eve?"
"Are all of Santa's Elves related?"
"I thought Santa's reindeer were supposed to be tiny?"
"Don't you think Santa should eat more fruits and vegetables, too, Dad?"
"Wouldn't calling Santa "Old" St. Nick hurt his feelings?"
"Does milk give Santa gas like it does Grandpa?"

(singing)...and my most favorite question of all...
"Does Santa ever shave his beard?"


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